Spring Tour 2006!!
TOUR PICS ARE UP

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May 12 - 14
Newport, Rhode Island
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TOUR RULES... (download the pdf to take with you)

Tour starts this Thursday at 6pm at the men's game (location TBD). All touring Townies MUST be at the field to cheer on the men, and must be in full 80s regalia. If, for some reason you can't make it to the game, you must be at the clubhouse by 10:30pm (bus leaves at 11:30pm). And you're gonna pay.

READ THE TOUR RULES. Know them. Love them. Feel them:

I AIN'T PAYIN' FOR YOUR BROKEN LEG
If you don't have medical insurance which will cover you in the United States, get some. Call Blue Cross at 286-8403 and buy it. It's cheap. It's one phone call. And it means that no one will have to put a 10 000$ hospital bill on their credit card.

WE'RE GOING TO JESUSLAND
We're crossing a border. Everyone must have a passport, birth certificate, or two pieces of I.D. (and I don't mean your gym membership card.) Anyone who doesn't bring I.D. and gets nailed at the border will a) pay dearly for disrupting the tour "vibe" and b) be very lonely watching the bus pull away to Newport while they wait at the border for their parents to come and pick them up.
On an even more serious note, no drugs. None. Nada. Booze is fine (that's what Nalgenes are for) but no illegal substances of any kind. People, remember where we're going here.

TUNAGE
Everyone has to bring at least one CD of 80s music. We will have a ghettoblaster (get used to the lingo kids) which will be carried with us at all times. Failure to bring a CD, or bringing one which isn't from the 80s, will result in penalties. Not all 80s music was crap - so do your homework and bring some good stuff. We have 2 very long bus trips, we don't wanna listen to the New Kids on the Block the entire trip. And JP is bringing the U2 already, so find something else.

YA GOTTA LOOK HOT
1. Everyone needs to have (at least) one complete 80s ensemble. You can wear your aerobics gear all weekend if you like - but should you want to bring a Miami Vice outfit or don your best acid-washed jean jacket, that would be totally rad.
2. Everyone must wear their 80s aerobic headband at all times (shower,
game, etc...) Suffice it to say, if you're found without it, expect to pay. (But where you wear it is your choice - just be prepared to show it to the general public.)
3. Rookies must get themselves some wristbands, also to be worn 24/7.
4. Rookies will be provided with a survival kit which they must have on them at all times.

THERE WILL BE SOME DRINKING
1. The tour drinks are Rhode Island Iced Tea (brandy, vodka, kahlua and milk) or a Newport Hairspray (cranberry juice, soda, and gin). Upon arrival at a new bar, everyone must have one of the tour drinks as their first drink.
2. All drinking to be done with the left hand. All chugging with the right hand.
3. If more than 5 people are together at once, any vet can yell "I PITY THE FOOL WHO DON'T HAVE A DRINK IN HIS HAND." (If you don't know who Mr. T from the A-Team is, do your homework.) At this point everyone must get themselves a drink. This can not be yelled in the bathroom, but interestingly enough, can be yelled in the shower.
4. All drinks must be consumed before changing locations. No leaving 1/2 drunken beers. Let's not be wasteful.
5. There will be five big plastic drinking straws floating around. Should you find one in your drink, you must drink the rest of your beverage through the straw ASAP. Then you can pass on the straw to another unsuspecting sucker (literally!)
6. Coasters are never permitted. Hold that drink in your hand.
7. Reminder: drunk is fun, puking/passed out is not. Anyone found in a puddle of their own sick will a) be taken care of and b) be at the mercy of the vets for the rest of the summer. If it's a vet who passes out, he'll be the rookie slave for the rest of the tour. (Note: if you pass out in your bed, you're off the hook. But if you puke in your bed, and we have to pay for "mattress scouring" the previously mentioned penalties will apply.)
8. Oh, and anyone without I.D. (or a reasonable facsimile thereof) which proves they are over 21 may have problems accompanying the club to various drinking establishments. Get some I.D. or be ready for a rockin' hotel-only tour.

GET INTO THE GROOVE
1. Everyone will be assigned a dancing buddy. Together, each pair must:
- come up with an aerobics "tour move"
- name this move
- the move must include a final pose
- whenever you see your buddy, you must greet each other with this move
2. Our aerobic workout/warm-up (done Haka-style before each game, facing the other team) will be lead by JP and Leigh. Everyone must participate.
3. Any vet, at any time, can yell "FLASHDANCE", at which point everyone must do their "tour move." (This can only be yelled out once every 15 minutes, at the most.)

PENALTIES
1. Chug or pay 1$ (U.S. please, and not in change) to the vet with the neon pink fanny pack. The max a person can pay is 10$.
2. The Dress of Shame. It's simple, do something stupid, wear the dress. You must keep this dress on (even while playing) until someone else does something stupid. An action is deemed stupid if agreed upon by 5 vets.
3. Kangaroo Court. If you don't know what it is, you'll find out. If you know what it is - keep that in mind when deciding whether or not it's a good idea to serenade the police with "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" while naked in the central square fountain. (Hint: it is.)

DON'T ACT LIKE AN A-HOLE
1. Rookies can't complain. Ever. No one likes a whiny beyotch. Rookies can't penalize vets, but can penalize another rookie. (Vets can override the rookie-to-rookie penalty.)
2. Vets can penalize anyone.
3. Men penalize men. (Heh heh heh - PENILIZE!) Women penalize women. In rare circumstances there may be cross-gender penalties, but only once agreed upon by a vet of the same gender as the poor schmuck getting penalized.
4. The rules can't be changed, but more can be added by the tour committee (Cathy, Glenn, P.P. and amy.)
5. Nudity, while appreciated, is never to be used as a penalty. We all know that if you just wait long enough, it'll happen anyway (remember the 50th?)
6. Anyone who is rude to our hosts or to another Townie will be brutally penalized for the rest of the summer. This is a fun tour kids - let's feel the love.

OTHER THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND
1. Rookies are not allowed to point. Don't ask why.
2. No sleeping on the bus.
3. Air Raid and Shark Attack rules still apply. (Once every 1/2 hour - MAX.)
4. A tour song will be written on the bus. Whenever it's started up, everyone must stop what they're doing and sing. (Once every 1/2 hour - MAX.)
5. The bus driver must stay sober. Ahem.

List of touring townies:
Amy Buckland
Étienne Bouchard
P.P. Gros
Shelly Carpenter
Lauren Rudko
Jesse Tomalty
Glenn Imperial
J.P. Martineau
Bob Miller
MJ Blais
Leigh Garland
Rob Grodinsky
Robin Hunter
Martin Scott
Pascale Thibaudeau
Brigid Tierney
Jocelyn Barrieau
Yacine Drinali
Jonathan Bell
Milad Al-Jawabra
Hazel Sutton
Oliver Laviguer
Mehdi Sabra
Nick Prudhomme
Adara Borys
Ciara Briscoe
Marc Ferrazano
Sebastien Vittecoq
Lambrina Michail

previous tours